You are STRONGER than you think

That is a quote from my favorite coffee mug, and coffee is my life line! It happens to be a #PureBarre mug that I LOVE! Let’s talk about coffee for a moment. I am an avid #Nespresso fan, I love the shit.  It is mercilessly strong coffee, that I drink black. Black like my soul, as one of my best friends says.  She goes as far to say black is her favorite color, keeps it cheery as you can tell (you will most definitely hear more about her in later posts). Over my life there have been so many things that I have come upon, that after finishing them, I realize that I am way stronger than I think/thought.  This current hurdle, I can completely handle.

I recently started watching #theBachelor with a friend and her husband. Never having watched it, I can tell you that I am no addicted (can you tell I have an addictive personality, or maybe I just overuse that word!). It is a plane-train-automobile-ship wreck that you can’t help but watch, it is GREAT! Anyways, this past Monday we were enjoying the show when out of nowhere my friends husband starts talking about this guy he knows from work (he knows all about my single epic life), talking about what he’s into and that he is from Pennsylvania and a hunter.  He mentioned the Pennsylvania because I grew up in West Virginia, so much in common already! Anyways, his wife and I ask for a picture so we can see what he looks like. I was not interested in talking to him or dating him, just curious (cross my heart). We get to see a picture, and he is pretty cute. The picture of course was with a little girl, whom my friend clarified that it was not his. The cute kid and cute guy, got me more interested (come to find out, that was done on purpose Penn Boy called it “intuition”). And heck, if nothing else a new story for you to read 🙂

My friends husband hands me his phone and says: give him your number! I am dumbstruck…. Ummm what, what do you mean – I don’t know how to just give someone my number. I throw his phone to my friend and tell her to, I mean she is married to the guy she could make it sound more like him and less obvious.  She did it, she sent my number… And the waiting game began.

Well nothing, and come Thursday I had forgotten about it (surprisingly). Friday night, I finish up the day with Pure Barre then head home for food, wine, and #GossipGirl in my comfy yoga pants.  Out of nowhere, Penn Boy texts… I’m dumbfounded and a little confused. Surprised he was finally texting, and not sure what to do. Answer, not answer, play the waiting game?!? I answered and the conversation seemed to flow. He’s military, slightly older (points), and not from Pennsylvania. He had an adorable puppy (swoon) and preferred vodka over beer. We texted all night, but not the incessantly childish texting. Penn Boy is funny, forward teetering on too abrupt, conservative, eloquent and charming (in a quirky kind of way). Initially what I liked best was his eloquence, I have a somewhat robust vocabulary that I enjoy utilizing and adding new words to. It is hard to find people in my generation that have the same appreciation.

The second aspect that surprised me, and made me like him more, was his knowledge of quotes and Charles Bukowski.  I sent him a picture of my spoiled, yet wonderful puppy dog lounging in my home. In the picture, you can see a canvas with a quote on it that I made, it is hanging in a prominent place in my home, so that I can always see it. The quote is: “She’s a mess of gorgeous chaos, and you can see it in her eyes” by Chuck Bukowski. Now, this quote defines me and perfectly portrays who I am. I am crazy, messy, wounded, positive, spunky, quirky, negative, outgoing, and reserved; only those who are close to me do I allow to see all the aspects of my being. I only follow this writer to the extent of loving his quotes I see on Instagram, Penn Boy knew exactly who he was (which both frightened me and inspired me). Who was this guy that knew quotes from a classic like Charles Bukowski? I surely was not in his league.

But he still seemed down to earth, an inspired and curious mind of a guy next door type of attitude about life.We had similar personalities and seemed to enjoy the same things. He went about his night (making dinner, meat/potatoes; when should I tell him I’m a veg?!?) and I went about mine. I remained calm and interested.

Because I had seen a picture of him, the inevitable asking of the picture came. I found a pic that I did not have a major distaste for and sent it with fingers crossed and eyes scrunched up. What would he say? How would he react? His response: You’ve got a lot going on in the pattern of that dress, I like it. Huh? What am I supposed to say to that? What does that even mean? Was that a sly way of not having to say I look cute because he didn’t think I did? After a major discussion with my friend, she assured me that she was sure Penn Boy did not want to come off as a sleezeball and that her husband was super awkward so Penn Boy could be too.

It’s now Sunday, and our texting has continued at the same speed. Occasional texts here and there…. And yes I am freaking out!  I hate this part with a passion, remaining strong willed, and not over texting. Not continuously asking questions or looking to make sure my phone is working. This is the stupid, giggly, pathetic girl part.  You want to know more, you want to get to know the guy more, but you don’t want to come off as psycho.

But I am stronger than I think, I only occasionally check my phone (he has a life too) and I am letting Penn Boy initiate conversation. However, I could not help myself…. I did leave an opening for him to ask me out to dinner. It may have been too subtle, we shall see :/ What are y’alls thoughts? Am I too quickly liking him? As you know I fall hard into like, and it seems too quickly. But I am not saying I have fallen or am even close to it. He seems nice and I want to get to know him (see stronger than I think).

So as I sit here, blogging away to prevent from texting, I remind myself: YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK. I mean, you just tucked your ass off at #PureBarre for an hour, surely you can not text a guy.  Hopefully this Penn Boy will continue and gain a better nickname…..

Side note: I passed my first exam, one down and three to go! Like I said, I am stronger (maybe smarter) than I think!

I hate to say it, but I have to go…. Studying absolutely needs to happen and my coffee is getting cold! I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend, and return next week to hear more about Penn Boy and Liberty, I haven’t forgotten that I left you slightly hanging on that story! Until next time…

XOXO – M

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