Falling hard into like

Today has been a doozy! This single girls Friday night provided lots of fun, good times, more stories, and a bedtime of 3 am.  I luckily had the forethought to cancel my 7 am Pure Barre class last night and put myself on the waiting list for the later one, 9:45 is not much later though when hungover.  Annoyingly, I woke up at 7 am which prompted me to take some ibuprofen and chug a gatorade before falling back asleep (hangover remedy of champions).  I made it through class, not as skillfully as usual, but I made it through without throwing up. I have spent the rest of my day doing school work, studying for new career tests, and I rearranged my deck! Now I am taking a break to spend some time with my online friends, that’s you 🙂

So we did the dirty, and as previously stated, there is nothing exciting to state; there were falling expectations! But, could I really live with just that? Could I see myself with someone that did not want to get married again, did not want anymore children, and was military.  I look at talking to/dating guys as an evil necessity to find the one fish in the sea that I want to be around the most. Because I am a planner, well I try to be, I don’t like to talk/date just for shits and giggles. If I can’t see myself with you long term, then I don’t see the point. This may be a horrible theory, and it has yet to work, so maybe there is an issue with it. However, I just keep thinking to myself that I have not found the right fish.

That morning came early, Mr. Z had early workouts and I was going to an early Pure Barre class; I may have possibly coincidentally done that on purpose.  After my workout, I received another phone call from Mr. Z saying he hoped I had a good day, wished my luck on my interview, and was looking forward to seeing me that night.  If you are in the middle of a career change like me, you know how stressful it can be.  Many ups and downs, life realizations, and stressing points.  This particular interview, I was hit hard by something the person said to me.  To avoid a life melt-down, I got my butt to the gym to run on the treadmill; well, 30 min turned into 60 min and at that point I was really looking forward to seeing Mr. Z.

Our evening was spent drinking vodka, talking about life, my interview, Mr. Z successfully encouraging my wounded outlook, and myself learning about some of the terrible shit Mr. Z experienced being a military guy.  I felt better and happy.  The evening ended late, around midnight, with just some canoodling in the sheets (remember, not a word to be used in place of doing the dirty). I was tired, he was tired – we could exist without sex.

Wednesday came and went, ending with a phone call from Mr. Z giving me the run down of what he had going on the rest of the week (physical fitness tests, work meetings, and being in the field). Sadly, I was not going to see him until Sunday. I was disappointed, but made sure he did not know that. Thursday came and went as boring as any mid-week day does. I spent my evening texting with friends, working out, showering, and lounging in bed with my super cool turban towel wrap (this curly haired girl loves those).  As I am sitting in bed, Mr. Z texts and a smile spreads across my entire face. His text? “Hey I’ll be there in 20″ .

I’m sorry, what?!? I was so confused. Be where in 20? Was he meaning to text me? So my response? “Ummm where in 20 min” – “Your house, have you eaten” – “Wait, your’e coming here? And ya I ate, I don’t have any food you can eat here tho” – “Ya, I am coming to see you. I will pickup some food”

Holy shit, Mr. Z was surprising me? What does any typical single and smitten girl do, call one of her besties immediately. I pulled up Face Time, and my friend could tell immediately something was up. As I told her, we both giggled and got excited.

Mr. Z shows up, exhausted and needing alcohol. I was excited to see him, I think I got a little too cuddly. How do I know? He totally mentioned me being cuddly (shoot me now). The night went perfectly, drinking, kissing, Archer, doing the dirty, and naked spooning. I was getting used to him, I was getting comfortable. This is what happens, I fall in like hard and fast. Watching him interact with my dog, get dressed in the mornings, shaving at my master bath sink – it all seemed so right. It was like he had been around for far longer than a week.

He goes off the next morning, headed to the field. Leaving his body wash, pillow and boots; actually, he had left the pillow after the second night he stayed. He claimed, my pillows were too fluffy and thick. This was part of the problem, he was leaving his things at my place. To me, a pillow is paramount and I don’t just leave mine anywhere. Come to find out, guys don’t have the same attachment.

Sunday falls and I don’t get to see him because he is still stuck in the field, something I believed because he had yet to do anything that would make me not believe him. And oh looking back, I was probably wrong. Monday falls and I get a call that night from Mr. Z. He was calling to say that they were still cleaning stuff and he would not be done until late, but I could tell that he was looking for an invitation to come over. One that I should have not offered! But of course I did, I told Mr. Z “that’s completely fine, you know me I stay up late”. That was the turning and falling point. The night was uneventful, we canoodled, we watched Archer, we talked, we slept.  Then he left the next morning, taking his boots with him…

And that’s the last time I saw Mr. Z, or even heard from him. But I kept holding on to the fact that he had left his pillow, surely I would see him again!  After a couple of days, I became disheartened, so I took action. Living in a military town, I know quite a few military people. So I did the psycho girl thing, which I don’t think is psycho because there is nothing crazy about finding information out about a guy that you’re sleeping with!

What did I find out? The typical: he shows up to work, he’s single, no secret life, does what he’s told, and has a good military career.  Well more days go by, now my frame of mind has moved from disheartened to pissy. A friends husband happened to know someone that worked with Mr. Z in the same unit. Being an awesome husband, and guy in general, he asked if Mr. Z was in the field. And I quote “No he’s not out in the field, but he’s definitely playing the field…just tell your friend to stay away from that guy”.

Ouch….

So what did I do? Well drunk M gave Mr. Z’s pillow to the dog whom is now using it as an ass pillow. Ironically, my dog has weird butt issues like polyps or something. The body wash? Quickly made its way into the trash. And I started this blog, swearing off men and dating. As well as a promise to myself that if Mr. Z reappears, he will get a swift response of “Sorry I am not a number in somebody’s play book”.

I hate to say it, but I have to go. I have some more studying to do and am planning on going to bed early. Check back tomorrow for another story, you will see my swearing off did not last long.  Until next time…

XOXO – M

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